Christmas re-hash

What a fun time we had this year! Both girls enjoyed what they got. I was able to see family, and spend some much needed time visiting and sleeping!!!
Maya's favorite gift this year was Hanana Montana, she sings and talks! That was fun listening to her say "This is Wicked Awesome" about 50 million times. Meredith got a baby that cries, and she was so very excited. She got a stroller and bottles. The baby got to keep it's clothes on for about an hour, and now the baby is naked. She loves to strip them down. Not sure why.
I got a new camera. Watch out.... I am camera happy! I took picutres of my co workers this morning as they walked thru the door, and I made my ad assistant sit and watch Christmas morning pictures, and videos... did I mention that it takes video too?????!!!!! This is a major upgrade for me. I used to take picutres with my phone, but I dropped it into the bath tub a few weeks ago and I can't seem to get a network on it now. It still works, just no network. They really should make those things water proof.
My cousins got the Nintendo Wi.... I can not wait to play with that. I am going back up to KC this week end to pick up my girls (they stayed with my parents) and I think I will call and mooch some game time off of them.
Matt and I even had a good time shopping together. For the second year in a row we did not fight the whole time. We laughed and had fun. I think we are getting used to each other, eight years will do that to you I guess.
The only complaint that I have, is that it was too short! But, I guess that is normal. We drove back yesterday, and had to go back to work today.
Merry Christmas to all of you! I want to hear what you got for Christmas.
Talk to you all soon!
Super Mom! (sometimes)

Did you miss me?

It has been awhile, and I am so sorry that I have not posted anything. It has been a little busy around our house. Maya has been having problems hearing, and that is causing school work hardships. But, she is on the road to getting that fixed, and I know that the Lord will take care of her ears! Meredith is still potty training! She is doing sooo well at daycare! But at home she has nothing to do with it, unless you bribe her with candy.... two weeks ago I actually bribed her with a dollar if she would poo in the potty. I am desperate! Is it so hard to ask of the child to do her business in the bathroom???? Anyway, we are working on it.
We have a new member of our family, Maxamillion Mitchell, or Max for short! Max is our cat, and he has added chaos to our house. But, it has been wonderful! I love him.... Matt not so much, but I think he will someday see the light. At least there are two males in our house now.... well sort of.
We decided that Max did not need to have babies, so a few weeks ago Max made the dreaded trip to the vet to get fixed. I must start this story out by saying that Max thought he was hot stuff.... he was a rather endowed cat. So when he came home he was not very happy with me. After the girls came home, he wanted to move! On the way home from daycare I warned the girls to leave Max alone because he had been fixed. Of corse, the first question out of Maya's mouth was "What does that mean?". "Well that means Max can not have babies anymore". I was very proud of that answer, until "Mom, boys can't have babies!". So I had to explain further "ok, well Maya it takes a boy and a girl to make a baby." That seemed to passify her.
So, we get home, and Max meets us at the door with that evil, I hate you look on his face. I left the room for a min and all of a sudden I hear "Mom, they cut Max's butt off!!!!". Oh dear! I walked into the living room and my poor cat is looking at me horrified while Maya has his tale lifted in the air, and she is inspecting his rear end. Yep, never a dull moment at the Mitchell house. Max survived, and is doing much better now. He does not seem to be as upset. and the girls have stopped asking questions. So, we won't have to have "the talk" just yet. Now, won't that be fun!
So, that is what I have been up to, I hope all of you are well. I want to hear from you. Tell me about your house holds!
I will try to write soon! Christmas is right around the corner!
May you all have a blessed holiday!
With love,
Super Mom!

Now that I have explained...

I will talk about today. I wish I could say that there was a magical pill, or button that I could push/take to make me feel better, however there is no such thing. I have had my up's and down's with this stupid conidtion since I found out about it. I know that is not a very positive outlook, but really right now I am just tired of it! I want to be done with it. I have been medicated and therepied (if there is such a word) and now I am ready to just be normal again.
I need to take deep breaths! Wish this was an amusing post, but really not much to laugh at right now. Other than I feel like I am going to stand up here in the middle of my office and just start FREAKING OUT!!!!!! I kind of have an office that looks like a glassed cage, so Come one! Come all! See the wierd lady FREAK OUT right before your eyes! Don't worry, she does not bite.

Being Diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder

•Please note that this was written several months ago on another blog (My myspace page). I am posting it here to describe the past few months, so that I can continue to talk about it, and everyone knows what I am talking about.•

I just read my friend Chrissy's latest blog, and in it she was writting about a song called Broken (which you can hear on my profile). As I listened to it, it really moved me. I think it is because right now I feel broken. Please do not take this the wrong way, you see I do know that I am blessed with all that I have, and I am very thankful for all of it. You see that is where the broken part comes into play. I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. And I have gentically low seratonin levels, which means I get to have panic attacks because I can not handle every day life,and they do not know why!

The fun part for me, is that I for no reason at all, I worry about everything. Doesn't that sound like fun! So, for the last year, I have thought that my husband was going to die, my children were going to die, my parents were going to die, I was going to die, I was going to get fired.... and on and on. Now, I am sure that most of you are saying, well everyone has to die, and for those of you that are spiritual, you are saying that everything happens for a reason, and that it is God's will. Well, I can tell myself that too, but that is not good enough. I have no ability to rationalize anything... but at least I try. Although it did get to the point that I stopped trying to rationalize it, and just knew that it was happening. The thoughts that go through my head are not reasonable, really a sad way to live. Which is why I started having panic attacks. To make matters worse, I can not remember a damn thing! So not only am i worrying about everything, I can not remember why, but I feel stressed because I know there is some reason why things are falling down around me. (although, they really are not, that is part of it as well, it feels like it, but it really is not).

Now, I get to take a pill, and that helped at first, but guess what folks, life still happens, and although most people might wonder what I have to be stressed out about, I can not answer that question, I just know I am! So I am so tense, and nervous, and I get to take a pill that will control the panic attacks that I kept having (the one at work was great! I am not only crazy at home, but I got to share it at work so that now everyone there thinks that I am not only crazy, but incompatent. Since I am a 28 year old advertising director and I am years younger than everyone else anyway, that does not do good in the whole debate that yes I can do this job!)

So, this song, hits a nerve, and right now represents what I feel like.

There it is, all out there. Perhaps it is stupid to put your private thoughts on the web, but what I have decided, is that I am tired of hiding who I am, and I think that might be part of my problem. And I really feel that others are going throught the same thing, (at least that is what "they" tell me) so I want them to know that you are not alone...and "they keep telling me you really are not crazy... So we have no other choice then to belive "them".

Part Two (What am I thankful for today)
GAD... not so thankful for it, but I am getting used to it. I am finding the triggers! So that is a plus. Last week I thought I was going crazy again... and if you would have asked Matt I am sure that he would have agreed with you. I lost it, and it was not a good thing. But as a family we worked it out. I think that the worst part of this condition is putting my family through it. I feel like they should not have to be put through the ups and downs of someone else, but then I guess that is what family does. I think that again is a hard concept for me, because I have always felt like I must be strong, and show that to everyone, and this is a weekness. Not only a weekness, but something that I bascilly have no control over. That to me proves that God has since of humor.
Anyway, the other thing that I am trying to get over is that it is ok to let people in, and it is ok to show weekness in front of others. I wonder why we all think (and maybe we all do not think... maybe just me) that we have to put up a brave front for everyone and walk around like nothing bothers you. Does everyone feel like that... or is that part of this condition? I then feel like the worst person because I have yelled and screamed and cried in front of others... I showed emotion in front of my children and my husband.
Then the guilt sets in... oh my gosh did I really just do that... I am aweful! I not only showed weekness, but I had a fit... I am not a very good person.

So, there you have it. These are the struggles that my mind goes through. I have been told that it is normal to express emotion... and it is not a sign of weekness... but in my head it is not normal, and the strange part is that it sounds so stupid when I say it! So, if I know that it is dumb, then why don't I feel that way?

I am thankful that I am learning how to deal with all of this stuff, and that God has given me the tools to deal with it, however long it takes. The next step is thinking and feeling the same way!
This has been GAD 101! :)

Mornings on the weekends

I love Sat. mornings! Sleeping in, not having to get up to go to work, being lazy all day. Oh yeah....I have kids now! Yes that was more like mornings in College. I have spent almost 7 years teaching Maya about sleeping in on Sat. mornings, and she is getting quit an appreciation for it. And then Meredith came along. Not only does she get up happy and ready to go, she gets up earlier than she would if we were getting up on a week day. Something is clearly wrong with that child! So, when Maya is home, she will wake up her sister first thing, and then we figure we have at least 1 more hour of sleep before they get board and hungry. But since Maya has not been home, Sat. morning sleep in does not happen. That inspires the Sat. morning fight.... who is going to get up with her. That is always fun, you know that the other one is awake, but they are being very still so that other will get up first. She learned early how to get past that. She will get up in the bed and put her hands on your checks squooshing them and saying "Get up Mommy, Get up!" Or whomever's side of the bed she gets up on. This morning was very amusing. I have been sleeping in Maya's bed because of the many fans that Matt insists on having on in our bedroom. And this morning she come and does her morning squooshing because she is hungry. So I kindly told her to go get daddy. (LOL!) She came back in about five min. Clearly Matt told her to do the same thing. Since playing Meredith ping pong is not her favorite past time, I got up before it got ugly. I got her the banana and the rasins, watched as she ate the banana, and then packed her off back to her room with the box of rasins so I could go back to bed, and she could play. (she shares a room with Maya). I was almost asleep when I heard oh.... and I feel this hard bam on my head. It is half of the dust buster. I looked up, and half of it was on the floor, the other half was in my bed, and rasins where all over the floor. It serves me right. So we get that all settled. I am almost asleep again when I hear oh and spilling liquid. She brought in her water and decided to poor it down the air vent! Again, serves me right. I guess at this point I have figured out that I only think I am almost asleep, but I guess I am in and out, enough that I have missed the fact that my daughter has left the room twice. So now she gets in bed with me, and brings her baby and stuff (which is a small plastic basket full of nice little things). So here is a visual, Me, 5'10", Meredith small, and baby chu chu, and the mass amounts of things that this baby needs, and the pillows, we are now up to 3, and blankets, we are up to three all in the small little twin bed. And I am going to go back to sleep!This time I am asleep for maybe 15 or 20 min when Matt comes in and says, "are you going to sleep all day?" Are you kidding me? Ahh Sat. mornings! :)

Ok, I think I must be crazy...

I have decided that I am going to run a marathon in November. I know for those of you that have seen me, I am not exactly what you would call a "runner:" That is lean and mean (well I have the mean part down but not the lean). When I was in college, I broke up with a boyfriend and to get mind off of it, I started running (Please, no Forrest Gump jokes!) I got into really good shape, and it became part of my world!! Then, I had Maya and I have not run since 1999. So in the past few years I have thought that I should get back into it and just never did. Then I read that my friend Chrissy from college was going to run a marathon before she turnned 30, and hey, I am going to turn 30 too.... so why not run a marathon!So far I have had a lot of weird looks, and smiles.... but oh yes I will do it! I do not have the fancy equipment, nor do I have the runners body, but I think that will come with time. Especially since Matt is not taking me seriosly due to an unfortunate 5k fiasco about 6 years ago (I walked it, no one else did, he waitied and waited, started thinking that they should come looking for me, the 70 year old man finished before I did... yada yada!). So I get to prove to him that I am serious, because I was not the last time. But, I am serious. I started training three nights ago (I had to take last night off.... I was pain) and I am at 6 consecutive min of running, and the rest walking (that is about 30 min of walking). You have to start somewhere right! I had an unfotunate battle with my running shoes in which they won... they leave bad blisters on the backs of my heals, and the back up pair are not so good! So Stacie (my ad assistant) let me use her running shoes, we will see how those do!Well, I am done bla blaing now!TGIF! 2nd part of post:
I did a little research about my marathon, and running one. It said train for at least a year or two first. It also says walk for three weeks first.... so I will do the walking. As Arty commented this morning, he is sure that the year thing is for a competative marathon runner... "what if your car broke down on the way to Ponca, are you gonna say nope, not walking that I might pull a hammie!" He does have a point, I am jogging/walking it.... so I might make it!
3rd part of post
Well, here I go replying to my own blog again... :)Anyway, just thought I would update my marathon. I have been training, it is slow going, but I am sticking with it, even though the rain has not made it easy. By the way, on a side note, does anyone have, or know of anyone that has a cheap running stroller? I need one for Meredith.Anyway, my Chiropractor informed me that I had a noraml body to have kids, but really not the right kind of body to run a marathon. That makes since, but it does motivates me too. However he did not tell me not to do it! He said 5k's and 10K's are good, and walking/jogging will be ok, and he agrees with the reaserch that I have done that says training for at least one-two years before I actually do it is best. So, we will see! Anyone want to train with me?I am now accepting applications! :)

Chicago

Hello all! I am writing to you from Chicago! WOW!!!! This place is crazy big! I am from Kansas City, and I even lived in Denver and St. Louis, but wow, I still feel really small in this big city. Funny thing is, when I lived in those places, I never felt like they were big, now it seems that I look at things different. I just got back from KC and I can hardly stand the traffic, and the road construction and all the lines!!! I have settled into small town living nicely. (if that is how you spell that...sorry about the spelling tonight, I am still a bit dazed from my trip)So... Chicago. I started my trip with my first time at the Wichita Airport...hmmm not as big as one would expect for such a big town. I waited for my flight.... and waited... and waited. Finally I got to board, and as I waited in the line to get on the plane, I wondered why they opened the door to the tarmac instead of the door to the tunnel thing that takes you to the plain (that is the technical term I am sure) my eyes got really big and my stomach did a flip flop. No wonder I got such a good deal on the tickets... it was little plane, so little that you climb up stairs to get to it. I guess this trip is going to be a first for a lot of things. I climbed aboard the little plane, and settled into my little chair (again... they have to to make things for bigger people) and got ready to fly. I have no problems flying, it is just going to the strange place that I have never been before that gets me. So we get all ready to take off and the captain comes on and tells us that they have just closed the ground at Chicago, and we will have to wait until the top of the hour before we will know if we will even get to go. (that was an hour away). So we sat on our little plane, in our little seats for a LONG hour. I called Maya. She kept asking if I was in the air yet. So cute! So I got my call done and some reading and then we were in the air. The man next to me decided to take a little nap, and wouldn't you know... I have a little bladder. But I had to hold it because, first of all I was not so sure that the plane even had a bathroom, and second of all I did not want to bother the man that I was sitting on (you know little seat and all). So I waited.Finally we get the Chicago O'Hare, and I am just in awe at the size of the airport. I really felt like a little girl again! I do have to give a big thank you!!! to Darrin Green for telling me to "just follow the signs". Boy was he right!( and with the whole little bladder thing I was glad for those big signs!) I am still amazed at the airport. So, with all of that, here I am alive and well in my big room in big Chicago! I do miss my kido's! Maya is at my parents for the summer in KC, and Meredith and I just got back from a visit this week end. Poor Meredith kept thinking that I was going back to "Gi Gi's" (which in tow year old speak translates into Di Di that is my mom) house without her, because I had the suitcase out. Of corse you can only be going to grandma's house if the suitcase is out! Anyway, a call home to Matt found her already asleep. She had a hard day, we are trying to get rid of the pacifier, and only give it to her when she is sleeping. So she curled up into Matt's lap with her "binky" and went to sleep at 6:30. She will not be very happy with me in the morning. This is the first time since I have had her that I have been away from her for this long. I will have to call and check on her tomorrow.Well, that is all for me! I am here for a few days. Watch out big Chicago...here comes little old me!

When did I get so round?

I hurt my back on Saturday. Not that big of a deal I have done it before, it hurts like a sun of gun for about a week and then it is better. I know that I have said that I am not skinny.... I am like 2 Nicole Ritchie's.... ok 2 1/2. I am ok with that, however I do need to be healthy. (that is why I getting back into running). I guess I never relized how big I have gotten until today! I went to Graves (two thumbs up to them by the way! I love that place) and Mark directed me to the thermal things that you wrap your aching joints in. Being in pain, I did not even look at the box, I just got them. Came back to the Traveler and went to put my new friend on... dang, it will not fit around my stomach. What the heck is that all about? Why would that company not make these things for larger people... I mean come on I have had two kids.... I need a little extra fabric. So I streched and I pulled and I got the stupid thing on. Whew!!! What a work out. I can not breath in this thing. I have rolls hanging over it ewwwwww! What they heck? It's bad enought that I have hurt my back, and I am in extreem pain, (ok because I have nooo ab muscles that woulld keep me from hurting my back to begin with) but this company thinks that only skinny people need help ... so now I feel fat! GREAT!!!!! I should just go home! I decided to look at the box for further instruction..... ohhhh I bought the small to medium. Oppps. My bad! There IS a bigger size. I guess I should pay better attention. So I learned a valuable lesson.... read the box!!! (and maybe I should lose some weight)

So much to say... so little time to say it

Hello all! It has been awhile. It is not that I have not had anything to say, it just seems that I do not have time to say it. I figured that I ought to get back on here since I got an email hint from David Allen a few weeks ago, and then today I was telling a story about Matt and David Allen piped in "good story you should write a blog about that!" So hint taken! And here I am!First of all, I celebrated seven years of marriage! I am not sure how we did it, but we did, and we are still alive. Although I am sure that on some days Matt has a death wish. For instance I took Meredith down to see my grandmother and aunt this week end, and while I was gone he managed to break not one, but two of our crystal wine glasses.... did he tell me, nope! I found the glass in the sink, showed it to him and he smiles and says "funny story". Really, do I want to hear it? Nope, really did not after he told it to me. They are still broken! And I am not laughing. (that is the story i was telling this morning). So we made it, even though the glasses did not. :)Second fun bit of information is that I am now 29. Before I turned it, I was having a hard time with it, but when I turned it, I had two birthday parties! So my friends and family made me feel so special, and 29 was fabulous! Bring on 30, I can handle it!Now, for the mom stuff, Maya went to Kansas City for the next 6 weeks to spend the summer with my parents. She did it last summer, and it was hard, but this summer it is even harder. She is loving it. We are not! Meredith is so lost without her I can not even go to the bathroom without her coming in and talking to me. Last night, she would not go to bed, and she was right there when I took my bath! I keep telling myself that one of these days I am going to look back on that and miss it.... but will I really miss having company when I am going the bathroom? She has also stopped potty training all together. We (myself, Matt, daycare teachers) are all in agreement that she is missing Maya. She wants nothing to do with it. I hate potty training! With Maya I shipped her off to my moms! (I did that when we took her pacifier away too). Mom got smart, and will not let us do that this time. LOL! Oh well, she will do it in her own time.Well, I guess that is about it in a nut shell. I did get an email from a friend that wants to run a marathon in Nov. I am thinking about doing that as well. But it is kinda hot outside.....oh well, I will keep you posted. So, what is going on with all of you?

My First Blog

Hello to all, and welcome to my First blog! As a first timer, I want to start by telling you, I am not a writer, and I do not play one on TV! I am an advertising director with an animal science background. So if you are looking for the proper AP style that a journalist would have, you have the wrong blog. Now that we have that out of the way, I will tell you what I envision my blog looking like (or least what I will be talking about). I noticed about a year ago the voice of the working mom was missing from our Newspaper. I have been talking to David Allen (our assistant general manager here at Winfield Publishing) about it, and there has not been much of a solution. I now realize that is because working moms are just too busy to sit down and write about our trials and tribulations, however, in my opinion, it is just too important of a voice to NOT have it. Enter my big mouth! Oh yes, I have one, and this time it opened right up and said, how about I do it! So here I am, doing a blog about working moms, and I do think that finally my big mouth said something positive for a change. So to all you moms out there, or husbands that have wives, or children that have moms (LOL) this is for you. Yes it is for everyone! Please feel free to tell me about your families, and the fun journey that we take. I do encourage you to keep it clean, and lets not be negative towards others. It is hard enough to be a parent, and so I would like to keep this as supportive as possible. We as mothers should stick together, not tear each other apart.So, I am looking forward to this! (Whew my first blog entry is done, and it was not too painful!)